Lily has just got over her first serious bug. I thought that she had vomited before - but no, until you see a tummy bug spew you have not seen baby vomit.
Of course it occurred with brilliant timing - my husband had to spend the weekend (day and night) at a continuous cricket game aiming for a world record (which they achieved), so I was home alone.
Fortunately, there was only one day where Lily was very clingy with the bug. We basically spent that day lying on the couch with her snuggled up with me. Actually, it was kind of nice as she is usually far too much into everything to snuggle. I did have to change my clothes twice, but that is all part of the job!
The next three days were much better. She would spew, then zoom around the room happily. No more nice cuddles for me!
I took her to the doctor on the first day of the bug, just to rule everything else out (although friends had had the bug so I knew what it was). Which got me thinking about how great my doctor is. I have yet to be unable to see a doctor at my doctor's practice whenever I need to. And if my usual doctor is unavailable, then I can get in to see one of the others. They also do not charge at all for under 5's.
I think it is really important that people feel they can take their children to the doctor whenever they need to. I believe that places that can't give appointments on the day you call, or charge for under 5's create increased illness and children slipping through cracks.
There seems to be plenty of places out there that don't charge, so I wonder why people continue to see doctors that do. And why some doctors need to charge and others don't?
My advice would be to check if your GP charges for under 5's, check if they keep slots free for emergency visits and what constitutes an emergency/late notice visit and if you are not happy, look at other clinics.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Working and Breastfeeding
There was an interesting article in the Herald today, discussing a law change which will force employers to provide facilities and breaks for breastfeeding mothers.
Labour Minister Trevor Mallard said yesterday all employers would be required to provide breastfeeding breaks and set aside appropriate facilities, where reasonable and practicable.
This part concerns me - how easy is it going to be for a work place to say - oh no, sorry, not reasonable or practicable to have that set up here. I am a teacher when working, and I would almost guarantee that most, if not all, schools would argue that they cannot (a) find room for a woman to feed/express in relative private; or (b) cover breaks that fall outside the normal daily school breaks. Certainly I would expect there to be complaining around how unfair it is that breast feeding mothers do not have to do playground duty as they are expressing/feeding. Breaks would be unable to be lengthened to allow mothers to whip down the road to the child's care place as there are 30 children waiting for their teacher to return.
I have a friend who is a lawyer and is returning to work later this year, when their child is around 7 months old. They will be able to continue feeding if she chooses, due to the nature of the job. The daycare is nearby and she has the power to choose when she takes breaks and for how long, within reason, without any change to the law.
Isn't it somewhat ironic that a so called 'parent friendly' job like teaching will be unable to support the new law like other professions? And what could be a way to enable them to support breastfeeding continuation?
Don't get me wrong, I completely support any changes that make the workplace more mother/child friendly. I just feel that laws like this are somewhat naive in thinking that it will go beyond the people who already have better conditions than others.
Dr Judith Galtry points this out:
"The people this provision will help will be those who have clout in the workplace and whose employers don't want to lose them. People working in the biscuit factory or as night-shift cleaners are going to find it hard to get that right."
And not just the real blue collar workers either. If I can instantly see problems with teaching, a huge employer of women, there must be thousands more women in jobs that the law change will not make the blind bit of difference to, and as usual, the women that need support the most will be the ones least likely to have positive change.
Labour Minister Trevor Mallard said yesterday all employers would be required to provide breastfeeding breaks and set aside appropriate facilities, where reasonable and practicable.
This part concerns me - how easy is it going to be for a work place to say - oh no, sorry, not reasonable or practicable to have that set up here. I am a teacher when working, and I would almost guarantee that most, if not all, schools would argue that they cannot (a) find room for a woman to feed/express in relative private; or (b) cover breaks that fall outside the normal daily school breaks. Certainly I would expect there to be complaining around how unfair it is that breast feeding mothers do not have to do playground duty as they are expressing/feeding. Breaks would be unable to be lengthened to allow mothers to whip down the road to the child's care place as there are 30 children waiting for their teacher to return.
I have a friend who is a lawyer and is returning to work later this year, when their child is around 7 months old. They will be able to continue feeding if she chooses, due to the nature of the job. The daycare is nearby and she has the power to choose when she takes breaks and for how long, within reason, without any change to the law.
Isn't it somewhat ironic that a so called 'parent friendly' job like teaching will be unable to support the new law like other professions? And what could be a way to enable them to support breastfeeding continuation?
Don't get me wrong, I completely support any changes that make the workplace more mother/child friendly. I just feel that laws like this are somewhat naive in thinking that it will go beyond the people who already have better conditions than others.
Dr Judith Galtry points this out:
"The people this provision will help will be those who have clout in the workplace and whose employers don't want to lose them. People working in the biscuit factory or as night-shift cleaners are going to find it hard to get that right."
And not just the real blue collar workers either. If I can instantly see problems with teaching, a huge employer of women, there must be thousands more women in jobs that the law change will not make the blind bit of difference to, and as usual, the women that need support the most will be the ones least likely to have positive change.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Formula Debate
Before I get started I want to make it clear that I do not have any problem with people who need to use formula for whatever reason. I do not even have a problem with people who choose to use formula for any reason, so long as it is an informed choice, made with the knowledge of the difference between breast milk and formula. This is not intended to beat up those mums at all (but I will look at mummy wars in postings to come).
Lily is now a little over 8 months old and I continue to breastfeed. It is easy - free (bonus for a SAHM) and works well for us.
What I am finding interesting is that breastfeeding support follows something like this:
Pre-birth: 'Oh you are going to breast feed, aren't you, it is the best for the baby...'
Birth: 'It is so great that you are giving breast feeding a good go, it is the best for the baby...'
3 months: 'Great that breast feeding is working so well for you, it is the best for the baby. So, when do you think you might introduce a bottle - it will help baby sleep through, give you a break...'
6 months: 'Wow, you have been so good with breastfeeding. So when are you going to start weaning?'
8 months: 'Oh, still feeding then, will you stop at a year?
1 year: *uncomfortable silence*
Why does this happen? Why is it great to start feeding your baby, but then have to move onto a formula so that other people feel comfortable? And why do some people feel uncomfortable about such a thing anyway?
For the record, I used to think it was a bit icky when people fed past 2 years. I still don't think it is a choice i would make, but now I can see why they might choose to feed. Not to mention the longer you feed, the better the health benefits are for the mother!
I think that it is no coincidence that the general societal acceptance of weaning onto formula at around 6 months occurs at the same time that formula is allowed to be advertised. Currently formula companies cannot advertise new born products. Most maternity carers are very limited in the information they give so they can push breast feeding. That means that many people who need advice on formula early on, when their milk supply is low or non existent for example, cannot access information easily.
Then at 6 months they suddenly come out of the woodwork - ta da! Formula time! So it becomes more normal to give formula than to breastfeed.
There is even an ad for a 'follow-on' formula for babies over a year - so you can be sure as to give your child all the nutrients they need.
Perhaps their parents haven't heard of food? You know, vegetables and fruit and well balanced meals? Why are they guilting parents into getting something they don't actually need?
So, next time you see someone feeding past 6 months, a year, 2 years... stop and think about why you feel the way you do, especially if it is negative. Chances are that the feelings are created by advertising, rather than from something you really believe.
Lily is now a little over 8 months old and I continue to breastfeed. It is easy - free (bonus for a SAHM) and works well for us.
What I am finding interesting is that breastfeeding support follows something like this:
Pre-birth: 'Oh you are going to breast feed, aren't you, it is the best for the baby...'
Birth: 'It is so great that you are giving breast feeding a good go, it is the best for the baby...'
3 months: 'Great that breast feeding is working so well for you, it is the best for the baby. So, when do you think you might introduce a bottle - it will help baby sleep through, give you a break...'
6 months: 'Wow, you have been so good with breastfeeding. So when are you going to start weaning?'
8 months: 'Oh, still feeding then, will you stop at a year?
1 year: *uncomfortable silence*
Why does this happen? Why is it great to start feeding your baby, but then have to move onto a formula so that other people feel comfortable? And why do some people feel uncomfortable about such a thing anyway?
For the record, I used to think it was a bit icky when people fed past 2 years. I still don't think it is a choice i would make, but now I can see why they might choose to feed. Not to mention the longer you feed, the better the health benefits are for the mother!
I think that it is no coincidence that the general societal acceptance of weaning onto formula at around 6 months occurs at the same time that formula is allowed to be advertised. Currently formula companies cannot advertise new born products. Most maternity carers are very limited in the information they give so they can push breast feeding. That means that many people who need advice on formula early on, when their milk supply is low or non existent for example, cannot access information easily.
Then at 6 months they suddenly come out of the woodwork - ta da! Formula time! So it becomes more normal to give formula than to breastfeed.
There is even an ad for a 'follow-on' formula for babies over a year - so you can be sure as to give your child all the nutrients they need.
Perhaps their parents haven't heard of food? You know, vegetables and fruit and well balanced meals? Why are they guilting parents into getting something they don't actually need?
So, next time you see someone feeding past 6 months, a year, 2 years... stop and think about why you feel the way you do, especially if it is negative. Chances are that the feelings are created by advertising, rather than from something you really believe.
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Sleeping, sleeping, sleeping.
Well after such a long break, it seems best to return to the most recent topic. Sleeping. Ah, dear to my heart indeed!
We have had success here - Lily is now sleeping through the night from around 7.30 pm till 6.30 am, with a feed at 10.30 pm and a brief wake up around 5 am where I resettle her. The wake up is due to her new skill of crawling - she prefers to sleep on her tummy now but when she wakes in the early hours of the morning to find herself on her tummy, she forgets that she can get back to her back by herself. So in I trek, flip her back and off to sleep she goes.
Every now and then she doesn't wake at 5, and that means a longer stretch for me - bliss! Of course it took ages for me to sleep through - i keep waking, expecting her to wake and would lie there trying to hear her. That has stopped now, thankfully.
The key for us was getting to the end of a tether! After trying to settle her for 45 minutes at 1 am one night, I decided I had enough! So I put her into bed and left her to it, popping back in every 5 to 10 minutes to put her back on her back and giving her a pat. Within 30 minutes she was down to intermittent grizzling, then by 40 minutes she was asleep! Less time than I had just spent rocking her!
So further to my post on doing what is right for you, I really want people to know that you will probably know when you can change things without getting upset.
Trying to settle Lily this way any earlier would have been too traumatic for us all and would have failed. But this was the right time - and I just knew. Night 2 she resettled in about 10 minutes, night 3 it was about 5 - and now she goes off to sleep each night happy, even on those nights you would swear she was wide awake!
We do still have to pop her on her back at times, but as she gets better with crawling, she learns how to do this herself.
I know the reason this was so successful was the nights spent stretching her out beforehand (as discussed in the previous entry), so it wasn't too much of a shock to the system.
Of course now I actually sometimes miss those snuggly middle of the night feeds where you feel like the only 2 people alive. You can't win really, can you!
We have had success here - Lily is now sleeping through the night from around 7.30 pm till 6.30 am, with a feed at 10.30 pm and a brief wake up around 5 am where I resettle her. The wake up is due to her new skill of crawling - she prefers to sleep on her tummy now but when she wakes in the early hours of the morning to find herself on her tummy, she forgets that she can get back to her back by herself. So in I trek, flip her back and off to sleep she goes.
Every now and then she doesn't wake at 5, and that means a longer stretch for me - bliss! Of course it took ages for me to sleep through - i keep waking, expecting her to wake and would lie there trying to hear her. That has stopped now, thankfully.
The key for us was getting to the end of a tether! After trying to settle her for 45 minutes at 1 am one night, I decided I had enough! So I put her into bed and left her to it, popping back in every 5 to 10 minutes to put her back on her back and giving her a pat. Within 30 minutes she was down to intermittent grizzling, then by 40 minutes she was asleep! Less time than I had just spent rocking her!
So further to my post on doing what is right for you, I really want people to know that you will probably know when you can change things without getting upset.
Trying to settle Lily this way any earlier would have been too traumatic for us all and would have failed. But this was the right time - and I just knew. Night 2 she resettled in about 10 minutes, night 3 it was about 5 - and now she goes off to sleep each night happy, even on those nights you would swear she was wide awake!
We do still have to pop her on her back at times, but as she gets better with crawling, she learns how to do this herself.
I know the reason this was so successful was the nights spent stretching her out beforehand (as discussed in the previous entry), so it wasn't too much of a shock to the system.
Of course now I actually sometimes miss those snuggly middle of the night feeds where you feel like the only 2 people alive. You can't win really, can you!
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Getting Babies to Sleep
Now this is an issue close to every mother's heart: how do I get my baby to sleep?
I am afraid that I don't have the answer either, though I will share various tips I have learnt by reading and doing.
The first thing I have learnt is that you will not set yourself up for a lifetime of misery by feeding baby to sleep sometimes (or even often in the early days), or by rocking the to sleep, or cuddling them even. While I know that bad habits can develop (no one wants to have to rock their baby to sleep for the next five years for sure), they can be broken quite quickly once you personally have the time and energy to devote to it.
Early on Lily did a few nights sleeping through, then a few more, until she was giving us a minimum of 8 hours at a little over 3 months. Ah - what bliss! Sadly it lasted for maybe 3 weeks max, and we returned to broken sleep yet again - and we still have it.
I do find the adage of 'good day sleep = good night sleep' is true here. When she can't settle to day sleep and is grumpy during the day, we will have more wake ups that night. So having some days at home to ensure sleep routines are followed is important. I found that out the hard way when I had a couple of exceptionally busy weeks and Lily responded by refusing to fall asleep unaided for any naps. One week at home (except for coffee group!) fixed that and she was back into falling asleep herself.
From the beginning I tried to get Lily to fall asleep by herself, and I admit, I worried when I had to help her out. I soon got over that when I realised that worse than a baby who you have to help to fall asleep is a baby who is overtired and has NO show of falling asleep easily, then once asleep will wake up far too soon. It is far easier to start changing habits in a baby who is well rested than one that needs to catch up on a lot of missed sleep.
CIO = crying it out. This term inspires massive debate and some people can get very aggressive on both sides. Basically, some believe that leaving a baby to cry raised their stress levels (cortisol levels) which damages the baby in the future. Other people believe that going in to a child every time they cry is setting you up as their slave.
Personally - do what works for you. I couldn't do CIO with Lily - she has an on and off switch unless it is grizzling so would scream for hours and I am not prepared to do that. But then some mothers are so sleep deprived that they are in danger, mentally, that unless they get some sleep things could go horribly wrong and CIO might be the only way to fix it. Again I say - use what works for you, and don't let others make you feel guilty if you know that you are doing what you and your family need.
The same applies for co-sleeping - if you have minimised the risks (no drinking/drugs/smoking etc) and baby is safe in with you and it works for you - then don't let others make you feel bad about your choice!
Sometimes babies will chat away in bed for a while, or grizzle or even give a little cry before falling asleep. It pays not to react instantly to every sound. Also, the mum going in can sometimes make them think they are going to feed. If you are breastfeeding then you can smell of milk - even if they are not hungry they might want the comfort of a feed. If possible send a partner or relative in to try and settle them before you go.
We are currently trying to stretch Lily at night by not feeding her straight away when she wakes. My husband gets up and tries to soothe her, if she isn't asleep within 15 minutes then i will get up and feed her. We have gone from waking 3-4 hours to a 6 hour stretch last night. i will let you know how this continues over the next few nights and may elaborate more.
In summary!
1. Don't panic if you are doing everything 'wrong' according to other sleep places, you can change what you are doing once you feel up to it.
2. Time at home is important, don't go out every day every week and expect your baby to be getting good day sleep.
3. It is easier to change sleep habits in a well rested baby than one that is overtired.
4. Use techniques that work for you and don't let other people guilt you.
5. try to enlist other people into helping settle baby so you don't have to do it everytime.
I am afraid that I don't have the answer either, though I will share various tips I have learnt by reading and doing.
The first thing I have learnt is that you will not set yourself up for a lifetime of misery by feeding baby to sleep sometimes (or even often in the early days), or by rocking the to sleep, or cuddling them even. While I know that bad habits can develop (no one wants to have to rock their baby to sleep for the next five years for sure), they can be broken quite quickly once you personally have the time and energy to devote to it.
Early on Lily did a few nights sleeping through, then a few more, until she was giving us a minimum of 8 hours at a little over 3 months. Ah - what bliss! Sadly it lasted for maybe 3 weeks max, and we returned to broken sleep yet again - and we still have it.
I do find the adage of 'good day sleep = good night sleep' is true here. When she can't settle to day sleep and is grumpy during the day, we will have more wake ups that night. So having some days at home to ensure sleep routines are followed is important. I found that out the hard way when I had a couple of exceptionally busy weeks and Lily responded by refusing to fall asleep unaided for any naps. One week at home (except for coffee group!) fixed that and she was back into falling asleep herself.
From the beginning I tried to get Lily to fall asleep by herself, and I admit, I worried when I had to help her out. I soon got over that when I realised that worse than a baby who you have to help to fall asleep is a baby who is overtired and has NO show of falling asleep easily, then once asleep will wake up far too soon. It is far easier to start changing habits in a baby who is well rested than one that needs to catch up on a lot of missed sleep.
CIO = crying it out. This term inspires massive debate and some people can get very aggressive on both sides. Basically, some believe that leaving a baby to cry raised their stress levels (cortisol levels) which damages the baby in the future. Other people believe that going in to a child every time they cry is setting you up as their slave.
Personally - do what works for you. I couldn't do CIO with Lily - she has an on and off switch unless it is grizzling so would scream for hours and I am not prepared to do that. But then some mothers are so sleep deprived that they are in danger, mentally, that unless they get some sleep things could go horribly wrong and CIO might be the only way to fix it. Again I say - use what works for you, and don't let others make you feel guilty if you know that you are doing what you and your family need.
The same applies for co-sleeping - if you have minimised the risks (no drinking/drugs/smoking etc) and baby is safe in with you and it works for you - then don't let others make you feel bad about your choice!
Sometimes babies will chat away in bed for a while, or grizzle or even give a little cry before falling asleep. It pays not to react instantly to every sound. Also, the mum going in can sometimes make them think they are going to feed. If you are breastfeeding then you can smell of milk - even if they are not hungry they might want the comfort of a feed. If possible send a partner or relative in to try and settle them before you go.
We are currently trying to stretch Lily at night by not feeding her straight away when she wakes. My husband gets up and tries to soothe her, if she isn't asleep within 15 minutes then i will get up and feed her. We have gone from waking 3-4 hours to a 6 hour stretch last night. i will let you know how this continues over the next few nights and may elaborate more.
In summary!
1. Don't panic if you are doing everything 'wrong' according to other sleep places, you can change what you are doing once you feel up to it.
2. Time at home is important, don't go out every day every week and expect your baby to be getting good day sleep.
3. It is easier to change sleep habits in a well rested baby than one that is overtired.
4. Use techniques that work for you and don't let other people guilt you.
5. try to enlist other people into helping settle baby so you don't have to do it everytime.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
I'm Back! After the festive season...
Well it has been a very busy time of the year and I have been very quiet. I am sure that everyone else was busy too, so you probably didn't miss me anyway!
Christmas and New Years have been and gone, and my daughter has been through her first Christmas. It was great fun, as you would expect. But I think we are extra fortunate in that I only had to visit one family group on Christmas day. Plus they provide everything and give us a wonderful day.
I have heard from friends who have had to travel from one family to another, covering an insane amount of kilometres. Some have to travel for a couple of hours in each direction just to satisfy everyone. I cannot begin to imagine doing that at all, let alone with one or more children in the car.
Is there not a better way? I know some people who have Christmas Eve with one side of the family, then Christmas Day with the other. Or maybe Boxing Day instead of Christmas Eve. Even so, that is a lot of travelling.
I remember when I was young we would all meet at my grandparents for Christmas Day, a whole heap of us, step-families and all, and celebrate together. They were wonderful days as my Grandparents lived in the country, so there was a bit of room and if you really wanted to be alone, you could find peace somewhere.
It also meant there were cousins to play with instead of mere siblings, once all the grown ups fell asleep, stomachs full of food and brains scrambled by a combination of the Queens message and a few glasses of wine or beer.
Things like this seem less common these days, almost like both sides of the family want to put their claim on the younger generations. If we hark back to the favourite saying that it takes a village to raise a child, why can't the village get together and celebrate as one, instead of creating opposing tribes stretching families between them.
Just a thought.
Christmas and New Years have been and gone, and my daughter has been through her first Christmas. It was great fun, as you would expect. But I think we are extra fortunate in that I only had to visit one family group on Christmas day. Plus they provide everything and give us a wonderful day.
I have heard from friends who have had to travel from one family to another, covering an insane amount of kilometres. Some have to travel for a couple of hours in each direction just to satisfy everyone. I cannot begin to imagine doing that at all, let alone with one or more children in the car.
Is there not a better way? I know some people who have Christmas Eve with one side of the family, then Christmas Day with the other. Or maybe Boxing Day instead of Christmas Eve. Even so, that is a lot of travelling.
I remember when I was young we would all meet at my grandparents for Christmas Day, a whole heap of us, step-families and all, and celebrate together. They were wonderful days as my Grandparents lived in the country, so there was a bit of room and if you really wanted to be alone, you could find peace somewhere.
It also meant there were cousins to play with instead of mere siblings, once all the grown ups fell asleep, stomachs full of food and brains scrambled by a combination of the Queens message and a few glasses of wine or beer.
Things like this seem less common these days, almost like both sides of the family want to put their claim on the younger generations. If we hark back to the favourite saying that it takes a village to raise a child, why can't the village get together and celebrate as one, instead of creating opposing tribes stretching families between them.
Just a thought.
Friday, December 21, 2007
Isolation
I hadn't really felt the isolation that other mothers talk about until last week. It was interesting to experience it, so I thought I would share.
Last Monday was my birthday. I am, by my own admission, a pretty 'look at me, look at me' kind of person. Usually my birthday was either celebrated on a school day, which meant many children, parents and colleagues wishing me happy birthday, or on a weekend day, which meant my husband spoiling me.
One year while I was teaching the children in my class organised with their parents to throw me a surprise birthday party. Not bad for 7 and 8 year olds! Another year we had our end of year shared lunch on the day, and the children all made cards for me. So I am pretty used to having my birthday acknowledged by many, which I love.
This year was very strange. I woke and fed Lily in the early hours of the morning. Then my husband woke to get ready for work at 6am. He gave me my birthday card (my present had been given already, a magazine subscription as requested), then went off to get ready for his day. I fell asleep again (hey, it is hard having a couple of wake ups in the night!) He gave me a kiss when he left and that was it - my day was ahead of me.
If I hadn't planned to meet my best friend for lunch, I could have spent the whole day at home, speaking to no one. That was a strange realisation for someone like me. I had heaps of online best wishes - facebook, the forums I visit, emails. And those friends are awesome, but it was different to usual, which takes some adjusting.
So what I have learnt: it is really important on days like your birthday to ensure that you have something organised. If you usually spend it alone then it probably won't matter. But if it is normally quite a special day, spending it at home going about the daily routine with your child has the potential to be quite isolating, no matter how much you enjoy your life at home with your child.
There are wider implications - social people in working life need to make sure that they have networks around their child that will enable them to stay social. Ante natal classes can lead to coffee groups, you can make friends through plunket coffee groups and parenting classes. There is always playcentre or local playgroups if the others don't come up with some regular groups.
I really believe that if you are prepared to have time alone you will be better for it. Your life does change, that is inevitable, but how it changes is up to how you prepare for the differences.
Last Monday was my birthday. I am, by my own admission, a pretty 'look at me, look at me' kind of person. Usually my birthday was either celebrated on a school day, which meant many children, parents and colleagues wishing me happy birthday, or on a weekend day, which meant my husband spoiling me.
One year while I was teaching the children in my class organised with their parents to throw me a surprise birthday party. Not bad for 7 and 8 year olds! Another year we had our end of year shared lunch on the day, and the children all made cards for me. So I am pretty used to having my birthday acknowledged by many, which I love.
This year was very strange. I woke and fed Lily in the early hours of the morning. Then my husband woke to get ready for work at 6am. He gave me my birthday card (my present had been given already, a magazine subscription as requested), then went off to get ready for his day. I fell asleep again (hey, it is hard having a couple of wake ups in the night!) He gave me a kiss when he left and that was it - my day was ahead of me.
If I hadn't planned to meet my best friend for lunch, I could have spent the whole day at home, speaking to no one. That was a strange realisation for someone like me. I had heaps of online best wishes - facebook, the forums I visit, emails. And those friends are awesome, but it was different to usual, which takes some adjusting.
So what I have learnt: it is really important on days like your birthday to ensure that you have something organised. If you usually spend it alone then it probably won't matter. But if it is normally quite a special day, spending it at home going about the daily routine with your child has the potential to be quite isolating, no matter how much you enjoy your life at home with your child.
There are wider implications - social people in working life need to make sure that they have networks around their child that will enable them to stay social. Ante natal classes can lead to coffee groups, you can make friends through plunket coffee groups and parenting classes. There is always playcentre or local playgroups if the others don't come up with some regular groups.
I really believe that if you are prepared to have time alone you will be better for it. Your life does change, that is inevitable, but how it changes is up to how you prepare for the differences.
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